mental health – Dinner Melted

Burnout While Wanting to Promote- I Will Get Back to the Comic Strip Later

After a few weeks of dealing with burnout and organizing the studio, I am hoping to get back into creation mode. Its’s sometimes a struggle to force myself to make something. It’s tough to keep going sometimes. I swear I want to get back to the comic strips, as I know the fans that follow this page probably prefer that type of post. However, I have so many projects started, I feel I need to get one or two done first.

I did finish writing my first novel, but few sales are discouraging. I’m not the best at promotion and advertising costs more than I have and I don’t really know the best ways to make ads to begin with. I am more a creator and will stay that way. I hope that some of the folks here also read books, and will want to hear more about mine.

I want to get more work done on book 2 of my novel series. I want to get this comic book done and get some paintings finished but I also don’t want it to be for nothing. I will have to figure some way to sell stuff. I could try patreon and post more often, but I feel sometimes that social media is a waste of time with little return. I do like to scroll through and soak in the creations of others though.

Maybe someone will happen to be interested in sci-fi books and want to hear about someone with bipolar disorder deal with something amazing, because that is what my novel is about. I put a lot of time and effort into it and I hope it was not just a waste of time. I like to write. I like to draw and paint but socializing and promotion are not my strong suits. Hopefully I will be able to figure something out. Burnout is a real thing and tough to deal with. I want to get so much done, but just feel overwhelmed by the huge daunting projects before me. Trust me, I still want to get back to the comic strips. I just need time to work out the other things I’m creating.

Writing With a Disorder- From Not Reading, to Writing a Full Novel

For a while, a long while really, I was not able to read. I didn’t have the focus, the patience, or the time. I couldn’t really do much in terms of writing, though I did post regularly to my old blog. My diagnosis got in my way. My illness took away my concentration. I felt the desire to read, but whenever I sat down to do it, I just gave up.

There were times I had an immense pull to create and I would write things I felt contained a ton of passion though they were just too manic to really amount to anything, and there were several starts to books in the past where I just gave up. I just didn’t have the concentration to really commit to a project so large and overwhelming.

A few hospitalizations later, and I feel mostly normal most of the time. I am reading all the time now, as much as I can. I read about a book a week, unless they are really big, thick sci-fi books. I LOVE to read now. I love to write as well. I feel I lucked out with meds that do what they are supposed to. It has been a tough road. In the past I would only be able to focus on spiritual books that I re-read a bunch of times.

I stuck with it though.

I read all of the Harry Potter books, The Stand, It, and a couple other books by Stephen King. I read two Game of Thrones books and will continue the series. I read some beat writers, William S. Burroughs, Jack Kerouac, Hunter S. Thompson. I read more sci-fi stuff, Isaac Asimov, Anne McCaffrey, etc. I read all of Edgar Allen Poe and all of H.P. Lovecraft, and I continue to look for more to read all the time. I love it. And the more concentration I had and the more I soaked in, the more I wanted to write my own books.

As it goes, I was able to commit to one project long enough to finish to the best of my ability. And though I didn’t have all the support in the world, it was something I always kind of wanted to be able to do. In my novel, which I think will be a series of three, I cover Bipolar Disorder, fantasy, and sci-fi elements as well as some themes about violence, duty, and societal beliefs. I mostly had fun with the project, though there were times it was tough to put things into words on a page.

I must’ve went through six different drafts and editing and reworking. I read through it countless times, fixing things every chance I got. To actually get to hold in my hands a book that I lovingly crafted for a couple years, I was happy that I was finally able to get something done as big as that.

Please check out the book on Amazon.

A Lazy Day Post- Important to Take Time to Rest

Some days, I just don’t feel up to it. Whatever it is. I need time to veg out and relax or watch some tv or youtube or just read or listen to music. It is just part of the process now. You can’t keep emptying the creative well without taking some time to fill it up with some inspiration. I need time to relax some days, whether due to depression, fatigue, or just plain not feeling it. Burnout is a real thing and takes its toll when you least want it to.

Today is one of them days. I just don’t feel it. I want to get stuff done and it feels like I am having more slow days than fast days, but I need to take the time to soak up some inspiration. Even though there are multiple projects that need to be developed, mental health doesn’t follow a schedule or routine.

I’ve been overwhelmed with too many projects and not knowing how to get them all done when I want to get them done. Another thing that is difficult is not getting the results I think the work deserves. No matter how good I could be at creating, without some experience selling or advertising or being social, the work won’t get out there.

I’ve been low on contact for a while, creating the things that I wanted to, making the stuff I love to make. But I just don’t have the social skills to put the work out there the way it needs and deserves. I put so much time and effort into this stuff, I sometimes wonder why I keep going.

Social media is tough to figure out. I wish there were an easy way to figure out how to get the outcome that so many seem able to produce. That golden ticket hanging above my head of overnight success or of going viral or of whatever, that draws so many people to the internet is elusive at best. So many people are working at the same end goal of wealth, fame, and success it waters out every honest attempt to make something worthwhile.

I want to get this comic book done and move on to the next project, but I feel called to paint or to write or to play some guitar or maybe just write this blog post.

Please check out my most recent finished project, my novel, The Prime Meroidial Collective Book One: Bradley’s Dream available only on Amazon